TMOH

HEY GUESS WHAT MEME I FORGOT TO FINISH

katehughesart asked: Stratford/Flutter, had to ask!

candyexorcist asked: I can’t not ask you about Stratford/Flutter because I know you know these things

And indeed I do!  :D  is a terrible person

• Who cooks: Stratford, perhaps surprisingly.  His mother taught him when he was a little kid because she couldn’t do everything around the house, and Ted has some trouble making porridge work right.
  
• Who does the laundry and other chores: Stratford again, or else he makes Flutter do it—because, again, Mummy Stratford raised her son to be able to look after himself, and Ted doesn’t really care about things like “cleanliness” and “organization” unless somebody’s forcing him to.
  
• How many children do they have: zerooooo thank all the gods on Dunmanifestin
  
• Who’s more dominant: GUESS (here’s a hint, it’s not Ted)
  
• Favorite nonsexual activity: They go to the pub together a lot—mostly the Dog and Badger up in Hangnails.  It probably leads to more gossip than Ted would like, but at least he feels safe; everybody’s too scared of Stratford to mess with his friend and Ted thinks Stratford’s less likely to go psycho on him if there’s lots of people around and he’s reasonably distracted.  (Also—mercifully, if surprisingly, Stratford’s generally a happy drunk.)
  
• Their favorite place to be together: Stratford likes dragging Ted along on devious, criminal errands after dark.  Ted likes being around Stratford first thing in the morning, when he’s not awake enough to be quite so threatening and more amenable to normal human affection.  Both of them like going to the pub together.
  
• Any traditions: They only knew each other about a year, so not really.
  
• Their “song”: Thanks to candyexorcist, I can’t listen to “Hold My Hand” or pretty much anything else by Mister Heavenly without thinking of Stratford/Flutter. Also Three Dead Trolls In A Baggie, “Better Than I Am” and in a more thematic than literal, lyrical sense, everything by the Pine Box Boys.
  
• What they do for each other on holidays: The only Hogswatch they spent together, Stratford caused a Scene in the servants’ hall at Hangnail Manor and forced Ted to slaughter one of his breeder turkeys for dinner after they got kicked out. 
  
• Where did they go for their honeymoon: Well, they ain’t married yet!  Nor will they ever be.
  
• Where did they first meet: Hauling barrels at Hangnail Manor, in the fall of UC 1995.  Stratford got put in charge of five or six laborers from the village and he decided Flutter seemed like the most obedient and easy to intimidate, and therefore perfect Designated Best Friend material.  It went downhill quite rapidly from there.
  
• Any pets: Do the turkeys count?
  
• What do they fight over: Flutter’s intelligence, (lack of) competence, (lack of) hygiene…and, very occasionally, Stratford being a horrible and all-round terrifying person.  Also Stratford telling Flutter to take his trousers off, that one time.
  
• Do they go on vacations, if so where: They haven’t got a lot of money and Flutter can’t really leave the turkeys unattended…though Stratford harbors vague plans of going to Ankh-Morpork someday, and possibly staying there.  This may or may not relate to his equally big but vague plans of finding out the truth about his father…
  

Flutter and Stratford face sketches!  Despite my ridiculous love of them both, I’m really not all the confident in my ability to draw them, so I figured I ought to practice.

STRATFORD WHY ARE YOU SO FLIPPIN’ DIFFICULT TO GET RIGHT

(I have a really clear mental image of him…but for whatever reason I never quite get it right.)